Sammy Boy
by savedatreez
Summary: Dean didn't need a destination. And with that thought, he didn't really have a purpose either. That should scare him but strangely, it didn't and he couldn't figure out why. Dean Winchester was truly, utterly, and completely broken.


**Summary: (Excerpt from the story.)  
**

**Rating: Teen for language.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters in it.**

**Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and Lisa.**

**Spoilers: Up to season five's finale. **

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Dean made his way down the dusty Middle American road, the Impala at a steady speed and roar. He had his left arm resting on the car door, the window open. It was a fine summer evening, something unlikely in the rain that had lasted all week. The sky was painted with brilliant strokes of orange, gold, and scarlet. He smiled a little, turning back to the road. He hadn't seen another car for three hours, figuring he was in the heart of absolutely nothing. It pleased him, this peace. He hadn't seen this kind of quiet for a long, long time. He even had the radio off, just letting nature play its own magical music.

The plains of wheat swept across the sides of his vision, the slipping sun peeking out of the clouds and making the shadows roll with the wind. The rays of light would even reach out time to time like Jesus emerging from the heavens to take all of his children to their eternal home. Dean's hazel eyes sparkled with light, licking his natural pouted lips. He wasn't sure where he was, somewhere in Kansas maybe. It didn't really matter that he was driving aimlessly. Hunting wasn't his job anymore. He didn't need a destination. And with that thought, he didn't really have a purpose either. That should scare him but strangely, it didn't and he couldn't figure out why. Dean Winchester was truly, utterly, and completely broken.

Dean glanced over at the passenger side only to find an empty, black leather seat. No longer did Sam sit there. No longer would he have to hear him bitch about the music being too loud. No longer would he have to put up with his sarcastic remarks when he was on his man-period. No longer would Dean have to look at that chiseled jaw closed tight while Sam was brooding. His little brother was the best at pouting. He would lock up every muscle in his body, turn away from Dean as much as he could, and scowl out the Impala window. The silence was deafening when Sam was upset. But it's not like Dean wanted to say anything to break it. Probably at that point, Dean was just as pissed.

Sam was also the best at puppy-dog eyes. Dean thought it was a bit pathetic under some circumstances, useful in others. What he hated the most was when it actually worked. Sam would give him those eyes, glazed over with moisture, eyebrows curved up in anguish. Dean couldn't help but finally give in. Because he remembered those eyes from his childhood. Sammy was the eternal little boy to Dean. Even though he was a skyscraper, and quite built, Sam was still his little brother. His adult body had no impact on the way Dean saw him. He would always be Sammy Boy.

It was Sam's adult side that won in the end anyhow. Dean clenched his jaw, swallowing hard. He had finally let go of his Sammy and now he was gone. God knows where he was or what he was doing. Lucifer and the angels wore them thin this year. Dean wasn't even soggy paper anymore. He was simply nothing. No strength, no reason, no direction.

"That's not fair to Lisa or Ben," Sam said.

Dean jolted up from his seat, losing control of the Impala. He skidded to a halt, his eyes wide as he looked at his little brother, back in the shotgun once more.

"Sam?"

Sam merely smiled softly, "Yes, Dean. I'm here."

Dean choked back tears of happiness, "Sammy.. I-"

"I know, Dean. But c'mon. You're pissin' me off."

Dean furrowed his brows furiously, "What?"

"Yeah. Stop thinkin' like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you can't go on."

Dean tensed his jaw, "Sam-"

"Dean- You promised me."

"I know but-"

"Look," Sam hung his head, looking back up at Dean. "I know you Dean, probably better than you know yourself. And I know you love Lisa and Ben."

Dean nodded, "Well, yeah."

"Well isn't this good enough for you? You got your fairytale ending."

Dean looked away from Sam, looking back up at the sky. It turned gray, the storm clouds tumbling over themselves. It suddenly started to rain buckets. Dean cursed, cranking up the windows as fast as he could. He growled, "It ain't that easy."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Bullshit."

Dean turned to him in fury, shouting. "I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, OKAY?"

Sam shook his head, smiling a little. "Dean, you're never happy. When you were hunting, you wanted to have a normal home. When you have a normal life, you want things to go back."

"It's because of you damnit! I don't want this normal fuckin' perfect life _without you!" _

"Well, I'm gone, Dean."

Dean choked up the tears once more, "Please.. Sammy.. Don't say that."

Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder comfortingly, "It's true, Dean. I'm gone and it's time for you to move on."

Dean hung his head, his voice defeated, "Tell me you're okay. Wherever you are."'

Sam looked up at him, sympathy in his Sammy Boy, puppy-dog eyes. "Dean, baby, wake up."

Dean shook his head, "What?"

"Wake up, Dean. You're going to oversleep. Baby.."

Suddenly, Dean jolted awake, staring into Lisa's warm brown eyes. She had her hand on his shoulder, smiling. "Oh heya sleepyhead."

He sighed, swallowing, taking in her face. He was just dreaming after all. His eyes moved over Lisa's shoulder to the window. Sure enough, it was raining. Lisa moved into his vision, her eyebrows furrowed. "Baby, are you okay?"

Dean sighed once more, cracking a weak smile. He raised his hand, cupping her face. His thumb stroked her soft caramel skin. She closed her eyes in pleasure, nuzzling her face into his palm. She kissed his hand gently. Dean moved it tenderly up to her ear, tucking back a piece of stray black hair. "Yeah, Lisa. I'm okay." He closed his eyes, and then opened them. "I love you."

Her eyes shone when she answered him, "I love you too, Dean."

Dean nodded, pulling her into bed with him and wrapping his strong arms around her. He swallowed hard, closing his lips in tight line to keep from weeping.


End file.
